Daily Iowan

July 15th, 2007

Project Gunn-way, or: Louis experiences rebirth before the baddest fashion gangsta alive

Rarely do I quote Elton John to you, but frankly, the bitch is back.

Pleased to make your bitchquaintance.

I just had the most stellar night I’ve had yet in L.A. Actually, it was the most stellar night of my whole life (aside from, of course, my first communion). It’s 3:50 in the morning here in the backwards-ass Pacific Time Zone, and I find it my journalistic, sassy duty to recount to you my night before I wake up tomorrow and reshape the whole experience in my head. Be prepared for my occasional wild, girly screams when I get to the celebrities. You think I’m kidding.

I pride myself on being honest with you all, but I have a confession to make. Well, two. One, I won’t be covering L.A. clubland this week. I know you bought a party dress and everything in anticipation, so sorry. But two, I’ve been doing a lot of… well, networking in the past few weeks that I’ve kept to myself. I recently got in touch with an agent who set me up to cover the premiere party of “Project Runway” mentor Tim Gunn’s new show for the Advocate. Here’s the thing about me: I am a sham journalist. I gleefully contrive story ideas around celebrities I want to meet. The minute I heard about the premiere party, I sat, thought of an idea for the Advocate website, and set out to find Mr. Funny Gunny. And guys did I pull through.

I took my sweet-’n-affable roomie Elizabeth with me. Later I would tell celebrities that she was my camera crew. They might have bought it. Anyway, we took the goddamn bus to this red carpet event in West Hollywood, signed in with some people who were born to wear headsets, and took our place with the paparazzi.

There I glanced back at the list of Bravo celebs scheduled to attend: Tim Gunn, supermodel and co-host Veronica Webb, Nick Verreos, Andrae Gonzalo, and Robert Best from “Project Runway,” Perez Hilton, William Sledd (a.k.a. the 22-year-old who runs that oh-so-insightful “Ask a Gay Man” YouTube blog… Jeez, I don’t know how I’d pick out a collared shirt without him! Barf x 3.), Tiffani from Top Chef, and a host of others.

I talked to all of them.

And though I’d lurve to discuss what I’m writing about for the Advocate, you’re just going to have wait with baited breath like the rest of my nine million readers. If you’re having trouble accepting this, suicide is still an option.

Let’s discuss who I loved:

Robert Best

This bitch is the s**t, even if he lost the third season of “Project Runway” thanks to an outfit that a monk could’ve worn. But that’s not important right now. First of all, Robert laughed at everything I said, and you know that wins me over every time. Secondly, when he started talking about Tim Gunn’s bizarrely huge vocabulary (”Sturm and drang? Tim, you made that up.”) and the potential for Tim as a celebutante (”First he gets his own TV show, the next thing we’re probably going to see is him passed out in someone’s convertible.”), it was just evident he didn’t take himself or celebrity nonsense seriously. And he’s tiny! 5′8″ at most, which is weird next to my 6′1″. I’m glad the interview ended when it did, because I sensed him turning me into a father figure.

Nick Verreos

How adorable was this Venezuelan puppy/bunny/rainbow maker? I heard a publicity woman approach him and say, “Would you like to speak with the Advocate?” and he replied, “Oh, of course!” At that point it occurred to me, wow, I’m doing real work for a real magazine that I won’t have to distribute at my high school drama club practice. And also that I’m the s**t. Chills.

Nick Verreos’ astute Tim Gunn observations: “He can hit every generation. Not just the twinkies, but the daddies as well, and the in-between.” When he said “daddies,” I about threw the recorder, dropped him in my shirt pocket, and fed him a carrot. I was in heaven.

And I guess Tim Gunn and Veronica Webb were cool, too:

I won’t reveal too much, because I’ve got a whole assignment on him to do… but Gunn was marvelous. Totally humble, and actually, totally shy. At one point, a camera man asked for a picture of Veronica Webb alone, and he almost fled the scene in a bashful blaze of shame. Veronica was a hot-ass, and she ruled almost as much. Thing is, she is a mortal, so it’s hard to compare.

Veronica: “[Tim] is the silver fox.”

Me: “Ooh, taking the title from Anderson Cooper, eh?”

Veronica: “Mm. He never had it.”

Me: “You’re right. You’re SO right! I’m going to give it to you, Tim. I’m the Advocate, watch me go.”

Tim: “You’re reducing me to a puddle!” (Can’t you just hear him say that?)

Veronica: “…There’s a certain dignity about Tim.”

Me: “The word ‘dignity’ has been thrown around a lot tonight… but they were talking about me.”

Tim: “Well, that’s wonderful!”

Me: “… I’m kidding.”

I was going to hold it back, but I guess I’ll show you my fave picture of all time. The theme was my idea, and Tim really found the muse quickly. Yes, that’s right: Tim Gunn blessing me like Mother Theresa.

Go in peace, bitches.

Until next week… and oh my God, is next week going to be thrilling (to quote Gunn and the echoes of him in my dreams).

Big love from me and my favorite star ever, Gilda Radner, xoxo,

Louis

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